Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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