Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
