My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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