i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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