We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Randomize
