u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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