I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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