well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
