This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
You ate ashes out of my bong
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
