Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
