I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
