I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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