finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Congratulations! We have a period
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
