Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
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