Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
