since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
