he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
