I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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