Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
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