all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
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