we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
