1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
