I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I didn't notice because vodka
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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