well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
