I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Hippo gnu deer
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
