Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
