I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
