I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Randomize
