What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Randomize
