A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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