doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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