Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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