If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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