I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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