i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
