I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
