omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
what the fuck happened to the tacos
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
