he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
