sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
