I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
