This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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