So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
