I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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