Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
