hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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