Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
