Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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