note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
