Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
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