Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I think I sprained my soul last night
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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