My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
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