theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
