so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Randomize
