i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I love having hate sex.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize