Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
