"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
