he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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