i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
